There seems to be a point in our faith journey that the past seems to stay the past and the future is not fretted over, and we stay put in the present…“in the moment.” That’s where I’m at right now. I can’t explain how I got here, but what I can explain is how it feels. It’s like my emotions are all present, yet contained. Not buried or neglected, but very present, yet harnessed to a level that they are felt, but are not allowed to take control of any pattern of thought. They are only allowed to be felt to a degree and they fall just short of sending me into a panic or a place of worry, doubt, and fear. The feelings are appropriately painful, but somehow deep inside I know it is all temporary and that God truly is in full and complete control of all that has happened, all that is happening, and all that will happen; and I am at peace with it all.
To me, the past paints a picture of a big story that has yet to be completed. All the tragedies and pain, as well as all the victories and joys, were necessary and are necessary to construct the story of God’s redemption and salvation in my life. My story isn’t over. The story is still being written and there’s only one Author, no matter how much I feel my enemies have the pen in their hands. I repeat, there is only one Author who is writing my story and my story is a redemptive story. My story is a victorious story. My story is a very, very dangerous story to the enemies of God. And my story is a very, very powerful story to the family of God because it contributes to His redemptive story of all mankind through Jesus.
So I must remain “in the moment,” in this moment of faith in my God, hope in my God, and love for my God. In this moment alone is where I have found and experienced a peace beyond my ability to conjure-up with knowledge of Scripture or even a forced faith. The peace is…it’s just here and it’s beyond me. How did I get here to this place, to this “moment”? I don’t know exactly. The best I can figure is that God has allowed the enemy to wear me down to emotional, psychological, and spiritual nakedness. There’s absolutely nothing left of me except my soul. Disappointment, pain, suffering, shame, public rejection, and embarrassment has clothed my reputation and family for over 3 ½ years and especially heavily over the last year. It has burned away everything I thought I had and everything I thought I was as a person. Due to severe traumas, I have been forced to see all things from the point of pain and shame…from the point of a cross, if you will.
Although the scenery from here is bloody, splintery, exhausting, confusing, and blurry, the people I see around my cross are beautiful and worth suffering for, even my greatest enemies. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in me wants my enemies to be saved. They have proven to be malicious and vicious, but what I see from my cross…I can’t dispute nor deny. I see people Whom God loves in this moment. And so I have peace with the cross. I have peace with my enemies. I have peace with myself. I have peace with my destruction. I have peace “in the moment.”
Where do I go from here, this place on the cross? Do I get down and go on with my life? Do I stay and remain exposed to the rejection and shame brought unjustly by my enemies? Like Jesus, I am not humanly able to pluck my hands and feet off the cross I’m nailed to, so I suppose I’ll stay for a while until it is finished. There’s no better place to be than “in the moment” so that I can experience the moment when it will be finished.
You can have peace too. If you have never given yourself to Jesus, then you have not truly felt the peace that only He can give. If you want a peace that surpasses the world’s most cruelly designed tragedies, then you must surrender to Him. If you want that peace, assurance, and salvation, then you will have to see things from the vantage point of your own cross, which is the very same cross that Jesus Himself carried; the cross of shame, pain, and rejection. The cross is designed for every true Christian to carry in their journey. I know that doesn’t sound like good news, but it is. It’s great news because there is victory and that victory is only found at that cross. It was first found at Jesus’ cross and because He was victorious, you will be. Imagine Barry Bonds’ baseball bat was the only bat on earth that could hit a game-winning homerun. No other bat on earth could be used to do that. People all over the world would do their very best to design a bat that could do what Barry’s bat does. Although their custom made bats would come close to getting the job done, they would fall short, every one of them. Jesus had a cross that got the job done and it’s the only cross that could have gotten the job done and until you fully surrender your life to Him, you will fall short of acquiring and experiencing all that God wants for you; the forgiveness, the peace, the freedom, the joy, the strength, the comfort, the assurance, and the victory in the moments you need them the most.
If you want Jesus now (you need Jesus now), then pray an honest prayer giving your full life, the good-the bad-and the ugly, to Him. Ask Him to receive your whole life as a gift from you. Confess all of your sins the best you can remember and He will forgive them all (even if you don’t confess every single one). God will hear you. The moment you surrender, confess, and repent (turn away from the commitment you previously had with your sin), the Bible says you will be saved and eternally secure. That’s great news.
If you’ve made the decision to surrender your life to Jesus, I’d love to hear from you. Blessings! God is great.