“OKkkkk…so where are you God? You promised to be faithful and fight for me. Yet…yet my family and I are getting pummeled by the enemy. Will you really let them split our home? Will you really let them continue to cause emotional distress on our family? Will you really allow our livelihood and reputation to be systematically destroyed? Where are you, God? Will you really provide and provide and provide and then allow the enemy to take it all away? I don’t understand.”
Ever thought this? I have. It’s confusing and it hurts. I wondered, “Will God come through like He promises to come through? Or will he not and I can chalk it up to “God is just shaping me for something coming up.” It’s like if what God does is favorable, then we say He rescued us! If it’s not favorable and we suffer, we say, “God has a plan and will make good out of it.” Don’t you get tired of doing that? It’s like we make God’s decision to act or not to act into something that fits into our minds so we can understand better what exactly happened and so that we can be comfortable, still believe and have faith and keep doubt and anger at bay. I think this self-faith-preservation is wrong and I also think people do this much too often. In fact, I don’t think we need to do it at all. Let me explain.
When we make God’s decisions fit like this, we rob ourselves of an experience with God that is far greater than any comfort we can give ourselves this way. We rob ourselves of crying out to God when it seems He doesn’t come through. We rob ourselves of experiencing total brokenness when we cover up our disappointment with some phrase we want to buy into so badly because it gives us immediate comfort and hope. This is a cheap comfort and a cheap hope.
So what should we do instead when God doesn’t seem to come through? Simple. One word: cry. Cry to God. Feel every pain your disappointment, anger and sadness brings. Feel it without reservation and without resistance. Feel the full effect and then cry. Then cry some more and then some more in the presence of God. Unfiltered and uninhibited pain flowing from the depths of your heart and into the throne room of God. Stop making excuses for God that makes you feel comfortable about your faith and allow yourself to be broken before your Savior, Jesus.
What about figuring out what God is doing? Stop. You can’t and if you could it wouldn’t matter. Just live today in full devotion to Christ. When He gives, cry out in thanks and when He takes away, cry out in pain. But always, always walk faithfully to Him.
“Father, help us to stop making excuses for You that we think helps us understand what You’re doing. Forgive us for deserting brokenness and helplessness. Show us what it means to cry before your throne, both in thankfulness and in brokenness. Thank You, Lord that You give us enough faith to sustain the good times and hard times. We love you Lord. Help us to grow in our faith today. In Jesus’ name, amen.”